blog Losing my mind Mallorca

Supermarket Rage

supermarket-aislesRecently I have been having a very bad case of Supermarket Rage.  It sneaks up on me when I am least expecting it. It doesn’t seem to matter which supermarket I am in, it just seems to be down to who else is in the shop with me. In short: other people. Other people (and their flagrant lack of interest in respecting the international rules of manners) are making me crazy.

I have to get this under control because frankly, no one else cares except me.

But you see, I can’t stand it when a fellow shopper stops dead in front of me with no interest in whether or not there is anyone behind them. I think that blocking the aisle should come with a fine.  And then there is the ‘I´m going to just push through you rather than acknowledging that you exist’ tactic that a lot of shoppers seem to adopt. How rude is that?

Why is it that these days no one wants to say ´Please´, ´Thank you´ or ‘Excuse me’? What is wrong with meeting a stranger’s eye.  It seems to be completely acceptable that we should all have to say Buenos Dias when we are in a doctor’s surgery, so why should this level of politeness not involve taking each other into consideration when we’re trudging up and down with a trolley full of beans?

The other day I was in a supermarket in Palma Nova. I had two kids with me, not just the usual one, and I was struggling to get a full tray of cat chow into my trolley without squashing the eggs and the bread (no one likes squashed bread, right?). I was struggling, and the kids were not being any help at all. Thank fully for me I was in the shop when it was quite quiet so there weren’t many other people around. Except for an older ‘lady’ and her husband.  This woman decided that pushing and shoving me out of the way in order for her to get access the cat food was far simpler than saying ‘excuse me, can I get past?’ or ‘Perdon’ or ‘Permite’ or ‘Entschuldigen’. Worse still, when I looked up and turned around having not squashed the bread, I knew her. She walked away muttering to herself and didn’t seem to think it was in anyway a bad thing to treat another person like that. I don’t know why this makes me so angry, but it does. Live and let live: I am all for that, so why is it so difficult for other people to be polite? Whatever it is it seems to be getting worse.

I have a solution, well I have several: there should be Supermarket Ettiquette Police employed to keep the peace in the aisles. They can be kitted out with rollerskates and wear bubble wrap uniforms so that when they crash into all of the illegally parked trolleys strewn in the aisles they will just bounce off. Punishments for being rude in supermarkets could be : having to go to the back of the check out queue, paying double for plastic bags even though you may have brought your own bags with you and if you are a repeat offender you should be made to shop online on a computer which is programmed to crash every time just before you plug in your payment details. Muwhahahaha! That should teach them! Vengeance shall  be mine.


  1. V…that was very funny! Certain shops are like that here…they usually drive HYBRIDS, & are to busy in the shop to look out for your children…which are standing velcroed to your leg! They can run over your children with their trolley’s & their Hybrids in the parking lot…but don’t let them see a leg of lamb in your groceries…you get their full access snarl and face contortions, they learned in yoga class! Not dissing yoga or Alternative Energy cars…but there is a very good reason the Anime SOUTH PARK made a Satire about San Francisco…or the effects of it! Hope this will cheer you up!

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